Connection by Eileen

Eileen and her mum, Pauline

As Autumn kicks in, mornings are getting chilly in Sydney. Just the other day, the south easterly ocean breeze had me diving into the far reaches of my wardrobe for a sweater. As I rummaged around, what I pulled out from the back of my wardrobe stopped me in my tracks. Soft and crumpled in my hands was the lilac cardigan that belonged to my mother, Pauline. She died several years ago, and after she passed, I kept a few of her personal things that had sentimental value for me: a 24 carat gold brooch given to her by her mother, a string of Mikimoto pearls that my father gifted her on their 50th wedding anniversary and this lilac cardigan. She so loved wearing it with the pearls. Now all these years later, beyond her living, I stood holding that very cardigan. The moths had had a good old chomp at the sleeves, but it didn't matter to me. Here in this item of her clothing, all I could feel was my mother’s touch enveloping my heart. So many memories. Such deep intimacy. A love so cherished. I believe that we are all part of an incredibly vast and majestic interconnected energy complex. Understanding and appreciating this is the basis and the foundation of why I practice yoga, and why I will continually practice yoga every day. My asana practice lays down the foundation for my body to understand movement and stillness. My breathing practice assists that movement, and opens subtle lines of energy that lie within. My meditation practice presents an opportunity to listen to my infinite mind. I often have moments of feeling disconnected, not just from family and friends, but mostly from myself. When I play with these practices that have been handed down to me over many years, it’s as if I’m re-establishing a line of communication with my intuitive self. Perhaps this dreaded disconnect is in fact of Divine design. It carries me to this practice, where I can begin to feel realigned, to feel safe and reassured that all will be well. Reality is, we may not always know how to express our yearning for connection, but we naturally long for it. It gives us meaning, no matter how much we resist it. As Krishna says to Arjuna; There is nothing but connection. Our connection with the universe has existed, exists now and always will exist. I have never lost that connection with my mother, but sometimes I do need her warm, lilac cardigan hug to remind me of our love, the connection to the greater scheme of things, the Divine design, and the mystery. The busyness of life so easily gets in the way of connection. But if we rummage around the wardrobe long enough, we will find our lilac cardigan, our yoga mat, our way in. It’s always there for us, even when we feel alone and far away from it. After that morning chill had passed, I continued to wear my mums Cardigan for the entirety of that day. And then I wore it a few days after that. It felt so good to have it on. I was transported back in time, my mother’s arms wrapped around me, keeping me so warm. For weeks I held onto the feeling, that there is comfort, that there is reassurance, that everything – for all of us - is going to be ok.